A North East based consultant in clinical and forensic psychology who has written and released a book to help families going through separation and divorce, has created an advice list for people splitting up as Mediation Week (20th-24th January) gets into full flow.

Dr. PJ Kennedy is working with a number of mediation specialists to extol the virtues of keeping a calm approach to separation and divorce with the aim goal being focused on always being the welfare of the children.

Shining Child has been written to help both the parents and children going through such times. It reaches out with advice and guidance, practical suggestions and daily prompts that grow out of the need of every child to love and be loved.

Dr P J Kennedy, who has also published a number of delightful children’s books written and illustrated through the eyes of his daughter Lucia, said:

“In my life I have personally experienced mediation during the breakdown of my own relationship with the mother of my daughter. It was during this period that I knew I wanted to write Shining Child to help people who would go through a similar experience.

“Mediation is now a pre-requisite to going to court over access to children during divorce and separation. It also a good way to tackle financial matters. But does it work?

“In a nutshell, mediation works wonderfully if both parties are willing to play the game. You need to have shared goals and both have at the heart of the sessions only best outcome for your family and children, not for yourself.

“Put bluntly, if you go to court, the judge makes a decision about your family’s future. Through mediation, together you can make those decisions. Done right it is an empowering, independent tool to sorting out the future of all involved.”

Dr P J Kennedy’s tips for getting mediation right are:

  • always focus on what is good for the whole family, not just yourself
  • go with an open mind and leave disputes at the door
  • put the children first, do not use them as tools or weapons
  • keep it simple, and keep it honest
  • if you are not being understood or listened to, keep calm and change the script!
  • Lose your paranoia
  • Imagine your new reality, and focus on getting there as quickly as possible

Dr PJ Kennedy’s books are available in paper back and kindle, from Amazon. More information and how to contact Dr P J Kennedy should you wish to work with him or have questions is on www.drpjkennedy.com