You have no doubt heard the phrase “being married isn’t easy” countless times. Although conflict and fighting are normal with married couples, there is a tipping point where the disputes become too much.
Admitting that your marriage isn’t perfect and that you need to seek professional help isn’t easy. In fact, it’s one of the most challenging things one might face in their emotional life.
Knowing some of the tell-tale signs that marriage counselling is needed is an essential step towards saving your marriage.
Negative communication is a clear sign of a deteriorating relationship. This includes any sort of discourse which leaves one or both partners feeling disregarded, insecure, depressed, or a combination of negative emotions. A common sign of negative communication is one of the partners wanting to withdraw from a fight.
The things that lead to negative communication can be the nature of what one partner says to the other. But it can also be how they communicate, the manner in which they speak.
Naturally, even negative communication is normal to an extent. However, if this gets to the stage where you feel that you seldom have normal conversations, it’s time to consider marriage counselling.
An Affair Comes Into the Equation
If one or both partners have had an extra-marital affair, counselling is often necessary to save the marriage. With affairs, the trust is broken, and marriages are based on trust. Even if adultery is forgiven, the couple will still need to learn how to deal with the hurt and negative feelings.
If one or both of the partners are considering an affair, but still haven’t taken action, this is also something that calls for marriage counselling.
The “Roomie” Feel
With most relationships, the “puppy love” phase invariably passes. Although some marriages remain very much in the honeymoon stage, don’t be deterred if this phase has passed for you. Well, as long as they’re still are signs of affection and intimacy, that is.
However, if a married couple starts feeling like they are merely coexisting under the same room and are nothing more than roommates, some steps need to be taken. Intimacy and affection separate romantic relationships from any other human relationship. When there is little or no intimacy and affection left, it’s time for the couple to seek help.
Contrary to popular belief, marriage counselling can reignite the flame between the two partners and remind them what they like about each other.
Often, a couple can work perfectly on the intimacy and affection level, but still have recurring fights that can’t seem to be resolved. Although this kind of marriage may seem completely viable, after a while the same unresolvable differences have a tendency of becoming toxic. Once toxicity is introduced, intimacy and affection suffer, which can easily lead to the couple growing apart.
Knowing that there are differences between the two partners is only half the battle towards resolving them. If you and your partner find yourselves in this kind of a situation, it’s high time that you have a third-party involved. Seek marriage counselling – it will help teach you how to communicate better, resolve your issues, and learn when to let go.
Most couples will try hard to get the relationship back to what it once was. This struggle can last for months, even years, depending on the couple. For some marriages, however, separation starts looking like the only viable solution.
In most instances, couples that go from marriage to separation too quickly miss an opportunity to patch things up. When separation comes to mind, it can offer an easy way out. But consultation with an expert ensures that you do everything in your power to make the marriage work as it should.
Instead of taking the separation step, seek help from a certified marriage counsellor.
Save Your Marriage
Whatever you might’ve heard and whatever you may think about seeking help from a marriage counsellor, rest assured that talking to a professional will help. Maybe you’ll learn how to save your marriage, or perhaps you’ll find that separation is a better option. Either way, a marriage counsellor helps resolve marital issues.
Author’s Bio: Cristina Vrech is the co-founder of Leone Centre and directs the individual therapy, couples’ therapy and Energy Work services. She worked in the financial sector of the City for many years before training as a counsellor followed by further training as a couples counsellor. She has worked in Mental Health and Addiction services as well as an Independent Mental Capacity Advocate (IMCA). Her extensive experience in various counselling and therapy specialities offers valuable knowledge to her clients and the Leone Centre.