The gentleman seated next to me in the airport lounge was thumbing through a glossy leadership manual, highlighters at the ready. I thought about leaning over and telling him it was all in vain, but I figured he’d figure that one out when he got back to his team and saw that none of this textbook rubbish works in the real world.
After 18 years of overseeing training programs throughout Melbourne, Adelaide, and Brisbane, I have seen more than my share of leadership disasters-the kind they cast for reality TV shows. The worst part? All of them could have been avoided had people not blindly gone after the latest management craze and looked instead at what actually affects the bottom line.
The Problem with One-Size- Fits-All Leadership
What drives me nuts is when organizations spend thousands sending their managers to one-size-fits-all leadership courses, and then they act surprised when things do not change. It’s like expecting someone to go into a kitchen and become an accomplished chef after watching one cooking show.
The adopting problem is not that people can’t lead-it’s that they are taught to lead like someone else.Leadership is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s all about being authentically you while enabling others to achieve desired results.
Most training programs consider leadership a series of boxes to check: Check active listening. Check delegation. Check feedback. These, however, are chaotic, contextual, and deeply personal. What works for Sarah in accounts receivable will not even be considered by Dave on the factory floor.
What Actually Makes Leaders Effective
From mining supervisors to the founders of technology startups, the patterns I’ve noticed in terms of what makes leaders really stand out are all the same. The kind of leaders that produce results and keep their teams really engaged share three vital ways of leading that you will never see on the corporate training schedule.
To start with, they’re comfortable with conflict. Not the petty, ego-driven stuff that makes everyone miserable, but rather the productive tension born from high standards and honest conversations. They appreciate that conflict resolution is not about avoiding disagreement; it’s making sure that disagreement will be channeled in a productive way.
These leaders do not shy away from the difficult conversations; they embrace them.The performance decline is immediately addressed, rather than waiting for it to get sorted out by itself. They also step in when the team dynamics are off before what began as small problems turns into a big issue.
Further, they know it is not theirs to like; it is theirs to develop their people. While this may sound harsh, the most revered leaders I know keep growth ahead of comfort; that is, they push their team members beyond what they think they can do even when it creates temporary discomfort.
The Delegation Disaster
Here is something probably to irritate 50 percent of the leadership learning gurus out there “most often managers are very poor delegators because they attempt to delegate at the wrong levels.” They delegate responsibilities but not power. Then they scream “nothing gets done properly”.
Real delegation is not a dumping ground for one’s work; it is a matter of properly transferring the ownership of outcomes. With proper training, delegation should enhance the effectiveness of the manager and the subordinate alike, instead of redistributing the workload.
I learned this very well when, about eight years ago, I almost burned out trying to micromanage the entire training business. My assistant always begged for more responsibility, but I feared anyone else might mess it up.
Stupid really. The moment I started handing over true decision-making authority – not just tasks – my life changed. My stress eased, the business advanced faster, and our team members were excitedly engaged because they had some skin in the game. It was something I learned through Crisis Leadership and it works.
The Communication Myth
I know this may upset some; on the flip side, I think we overly obsess about communication skills. Communication, of course, should be clean and concise. But I have seen articulate managers who could not lead their way out of a paper bag and equally appreciated the others with rougher communication styles.
Your team has a sixth sense for spotting anything that is not true. They can tell when you’re talking from the heart and when you’re just parroting some corporate formulas. They can tell when you genuinely care for their growth versus when you are just checking the box for your own performance appraisal.
This is why most of those cookie-cutter workshops on managing difficult conversations more often than not miss the point. They impart scripts rather than principles. They teach techniques rather than intentions.
The Stress Management Red Herring
Every other organization I come across seems to want their leaders trained in stress management, and rightly so-leadership is stressful. But here is what I do not like” in my experience, stress in leadership is often caused by the effort of trying to be something that is contrary to who you are”.
When leaders become possible representations of any kind, then everything becomes tougher. They develop second thoughts about their decisions and feel imposters. They go through exhausting tasks of keeping up the persona that does not fit.
They aren’t necessarily the calmest or most zen-like effective leaders that I know. However, they found ways to lead within which they feel naturally inclined. Introverted leaders tend to process information very deeply before arriving at what is to be done. The extroverted leader thinks out loud while energising the room through interaction.
Design systems that encourage application
Systems thinking is the main difference between an expert and an excellent leader: personality and natural charisma. Great leaders learn that the results of the game are built up from processes and structures which will still work despite the person on top.
The clear expectations are not supposed to be vague – hoping that one will figure it out. It has feedback loops catching problems currently instead of waiting for annual checks. Redundancy is built up, so valuable knowledge is not trapped inside one head.
The Real Deal on Performance Management
Performance management systems are usually nightmares in themselves designed by bureaucratically ignorant people who have never managed anyone at some point. Their purpose is to document the problems and not to solve them. They formalize it into awkward events that will happen every quarter or throughout the year.
Effective leaders manage performance regularly, noticing when people are struggling, and addressing it on the spot. Recognizing good work in real-time, rather than deferring it to some review meeting six months later. They understand that feedback is most valuable when given immediately, specific, and actionable.
The paperwork can come later. The relationship and results come first.
This Is What It Means for You
If you are in any kind of leadership role-whether you are managing two people or two hundred-then park the idea of being the perfect leader and start being an effective one. This means:
Play to your strengths instead of trying to fix your weaknesses. For those who are naturally analytical, use this strength: for this reason, if you’re naturally people-focused, use that, too. Leadership is never one-size-fits-all.
More outcome and less activity. Your job isn’t to be busy – it’s to create conditions where your team can do their best work. Getting out of their way, sometimes .Whenyou’re constructing those relationships before you really need them. Actually, you would want to build trust and rapport with your people not when something bad is happening-a crisis-but when things are relatively calm and you can actually put in the time to understand what motivates each individual in your group or team.
What We Learn
Leadership development is not “fractured” because we have the wrong concepts – it’s “fractured” because it treats leadership as something that we can abstract away from our individual journey and sell as a generic skill. The most effective leaders and strategists aren’t following someone else’s playbook. They’re writing their own.
Quit searching for the silver-bullet solution. Begin to challenge what is good for you, your team and your organisation.
Remember “people don’t leave bad company – – they leave bad managers. But they don’t stick around for great companies, either – they stay for managers who nurture them, push them to the right degree, and remind them they are valued for their humanity as well as their efficiency.
That is not a thing one can get from a manual. It’s something that you build over time, with experience, reflection and the occasional amazing failure that shows you exactly what not to do next time. Learn more about Leadership and watch things happen.