I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “do what you fear and the fear will go away”. Well, it’s true. I’m shy and used to be incredibly awkward around women, but now that I’ve overcome my sexual shyness, I can approach women with no problem at all.
It wasn’t easy at first: there were times when I felt so nervous that my hands would shake and my face would turn red like a stop sign, I remember vacations with friends in Australia when I even thought about going to professionals to have sex with a Sydney escort available.
But after years of practice, overcoming sexual shyness has become second nature to me. And while there are many ways to address this problem (from therapy to medication), there are also some simple steps you can take right now that will help make things easier for you in the long run.
Get comfortable with your body
One of the best ways to get comfortable with your body is to start taking your clothes off. But you don’t have to do it all at once. Here are some steps you can take:
- Practice on your own in front of a mirror. See if you can undress completely and then put your clothes back on without anyone’s help. You may want to start with a pair of pants or shorts; this way, it will be easier for you to concentrate on what’s happening instead of worrying about how many people are watching from outside the door (and besides, no one will see anything).
- Once you feel confident doing this alone, try practising in front of a friend or loved one who has seen them before, but make sure they don’t laugh or make fun of you in any way. This will help build confidence when those around us are not as familiar with our bodies and may be less likely than our friends/family who already know what we look like under our clothes (or maybe even better than!).
- Next, move on to practising while someone else watches you closely, but remains clothed; this way, they are not distracted by their own physical appearance/movements, which could affect their attention and focus only on yours (plus, there will be less pressure!).
Clearly communicate your needs and wants
Ask for what you want. Sometimes people don’t ask for what they want because they’re afraid of being rejected. But if you don’t ask and just take things for granted, this can lead to uncomfortable or unhappy situations in the bedroom.
So make sure you both know exactly what’s going on and take a moment before you have sex to talk about what you each want and don’t want at that moment; then pay attention when things happen so there are no surprises later.
Say no when you have to! If something makes the other person uncomfortable during sex (or even after), it’s important to tell your partner immediately so that any negative feelings can be addressed right away or else your partner will end up being unfaithful with escorts in Malta booked on SexoMalta or Simpleescorts, or just going with your best friend.
Use sexual fantasies to explore your desires
Fantasies are a great way to explore your desires and overcome sexual shyness. For example, you can imagine yourself with someone you find attractive while masturbating, or ask a friend to act out that scenario with you.
You can also try using fantasy-based apps like Tinder or Grindr, which allow users to text each other anonymously. The key is that these fantasies should be safe: you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about them if your partner discovers them on your phone.
You can also use the fantasy when it comes time for actual sex: think how much safer and more comfortable you would be if instead of having an intense conversation beforehand about what you like in bed (and what you don’t), the three of you just did what felt right to each other at the time….
Sexuality is something we all carry within us; discovering yours may mean exploring some uncomfortable sensations at first, but once those sensations become less scary and more familiar with practice over time, discovering who gets turned on by what won’t seem so intimidating anymore!
Read about sex and sexuality
In addition to reading about sex and sexuality, there are many other ways to learn more about your likes and dislikes. It’s important to know how you perform in a sexual relationship, as well as what you need to feel comfortable and happy.
Sex is also part of relationships: you should learn everything that makes relationships successful so that when the time comes for yours, nothing will catch you off guard. Finally: if reading isn’t your thing (or if there are some words or topics that bother you), try watching educational videos online.
Conclusion
If you’re reading this, chances are you have some level of sexual shyness. But hopefully by now I’ve given you some good tips for overcoming it.
There are many resources out there to help people with their sexuality: books and blogs, classes and workshops, hotlines and therapists, and these are just a few examples. You don’t have to go it alone: there are lots of people who want to help.