North East Connected

If life were like 23 boxes

Deal or No Deal, we’re fed up with hearing it, and no doubt you are too. It used to be such a happy phrase, said by Noel Edmonds on Channel 4, but no more. In the year that the TV game show ended, we managed to vote for a different kind of Deal or No Deal – Brexit. Fortunately, you can still play the deal or no deal game from Paddy Power but other than that I’m afraid the only deals that are being made in Britain are with Brussels. Although lately, it’s looking more like a delay-deal as opposed to deal or no deal.

So if life were like 23 boxes, and Brexit was a game show – as often it seems – how would it go? Well, currently The Banker (Brussels) has offered us multiple deals, all of which our contestants (MPs) have laughed out of Parliament with a resounding ‘No Deal’. Our contestants have spent a lot of their time criticising everything that the boxes reveal, but they’ve yet to find the 1p or win the £250,000!

We’re holding out for the top prize, the next highest amount of £100,000 simply isn’t good enough, there can be no compromise. Even though a previous offer of £70,000 is something they possibly should have considered more, the thirst for wealth and having it all is only increasing with each box that is opened. The next box is due to be opened on October 31st, and at this rate, it could contain anything. Will the game come crashing down or will we manage to stay afloat for another round?

The entire of Channel 4 (House of Commons) is now left in an unscheduled and inconvenient ad break (suspension of Parliament). Now it is time to sit and twiddle our thumbs as we nervously watch our chief contestant Boris Johnson come up with a plan moving forward. He must now discuss with The Banker another deal, one which they can both agree on, or accept defeat and postpone the final box reveal until January 2020.

If Boris had his way, he would open all the boxes on October 31st and more than likely leave with the 1p, crashing out of the game (the European Union). He even tried to swap out the other contestants for ones who would support him better (call a General Election) but yet again, he could not win a majority vote.

Noel Edmonds, our host, (the British public) can yet again do nothing but sit back and watch the entire fiasco take place. The fact that Noel is the one who began the show in the first place now means nothing. He welcomed the contestants to the floor, he gave the show’s telephone number to The Banker, but now he remains powerless – despite the fact it is his game show that will suffer.

It all sounds a bit chaotic doesn’t it, when you put it like that. A bunch of people running around not knowing what to do and no important party agreeing with one another. Whether you’re The Banker, the contestants, Noel Edmonds, or even the audience (other EU countries) it feels like it’s all going round in circles. Something needs to be done about the organisation of Brexit, otherwise, we’ll never open up the final box and complete the show!

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