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Why Your Kids Don’t Want to Help at Home

ByDave Stopher

Dec 14, 2023

Do you have trouble getting your kids to help out with chores around the home? Maybe they don’t want to do dishes or they need constant reminders to clean their room. The struggles will be different in each family, but often the root problems will be very similar.

We are going to look at some of the reasons why kids are not helping out and why they don’t want to help out.

No Motivation

Why do kids have trouble doing anything? Often, it comes down to their motivation. If they are not motivated to do well in school, they will have difficulty paying attention in classes, taking notes, or doing homework. If they are not motivated to get up in the morning, they may have trouble getting out of bed. The same is true of them helping around the house. If you want them to help out more, then you have to figure out how to motivate them to do it.

There are tons of ways to motivate kids to do any kind of activity, and you just have to figure out what works with your kids. For some, it will require kids to make the connection between helping at home and how it benefits them. Talk to them about the need for helping and how it makes life better for them.

Some kids will need consequences to motivate them. If you take away their screen time when they don’t help, you may find them quickly willing to lend a hand. You can limit whatever you think will have the biggest effect on them and not do them harm.

Some kids are motivated better by reward, and you can attach allowance to their chores. You can also reward them by showing them love and affection and spending time with them after they do their chores. You should not hold back love because they did not do their chores, but you can show them that you really appreciate their help.

They Don’t Know How

Kids don’t always know how to express their feelings very well and be upfront about what they are thinking or feeling. If your kids don’t do the chores you assign them, you might think that they are being disobedient. In reality, they may just not know how to do the chores properly. They may lack self-confidence and not know what to do.

Make sure your kids are able to do whatever you assign them. Show them how you want it done the first time. They could be scared that you won’t be happy with their performance and may not bother to try because of that fear. Kids will often not say that they don’t know how to do something, though. You might have to ask them, and even then, they may be hesitant to tell you about their lack of ability and knowledge. You can graciously show them how to do the task, and if they don’t do it right, make sure that you don’t get upset at them as a result. Be patient and understanding, and it will be easier to get kids to do the tasks you want them to.

They May Be Tired

Your kids might not do the work you assign them and might not feel like pitching in and helping out because they have very little energy. Take account of your kid’s workload from school and other areas of their lives. If they are going through a busy time at school, you might want to ease some of their responsibilities off of them and do the work for yourself or hire someone else to do it.

The task may also be too big for them to feel like they could handle, and they may feel discouraged when they think about the work ahead of them. Houston inside cabinets cleaning is something that parents will sometimes hire out, as well as other spring-cleaning chores. The big cleaning jobs may be best left to the professionals instead of overburdening your kids with them. If your kids struggle to do some big cleaning tasks due to low energy levels, not feeling well, or heavy workloads, then you should consider getting some help with the tasks that you need done.

Be considerate of your kids and what they are dealing with. If they are stressed because of tests, they will feel mentally and physically exhausted. In hot weather or in allergy season, they may not feel very well and may be constantly drained, depending on their physical constitution. If you know that your child has low energy, then take that into consideration when assigning chores. Consider giving them less work at certain times or changing up their workload to something more manageable.

They Have Learned to Rely on You

Your kids should be able to count on you, but they could also develop a condition known as learned helplessness. This means that they have convinced themselves they are helpless to do certain tasks because you always step in and do those things for them. Maybe you tell them that they do the tasks wrong or other people tell them that they are not able to do those things well. They could have learned helplessness from the heavy criticism they receive, or they could learn it from not being given a chance to do things for themselves.

To fix this problem, you may need to give your kids the opportunity to do some things on their own. You might need to build up their self-confidence and let them know that you think they are capable and talented. You can do some chores together with them and compliment them on their performance, and that will help them feel more capable to do those same things on their own. Look for areas where your child may be relying on you too much and try to help them step out on their own.

Your kids may be able to help more and be more willing to help if you take these ideas and use them in your daily life.