After the initial shock of your spouse revealing they want a divorce, making the decision together, or however else it came about, the next hurdle is telling your friends and family. Depending on how your relationship with your ex was, this may come as a surprise to them, just as it was to you.

Telling someone that you are getting a divorce can bring up all the emotions again, even after you thought you had gotten them under control. It is a difficult time for everyone, especially your close friends and family. How they interact with you and your ex will change forever after you tell them the news. If you take on the tips from this guide, you can make telling people as bearable as it needs to be.

1.    Wait Until the Right Time

Some may say that there is never a ‘right time’ to tell somebody that you are getting a divorce, but there is certainly a wrong time. Wait until the initial shock and emotions have subsided. It can be extremely overwhelming at first, and you need to spend some time alone to think about what the future holds and how you are going to approach your new life. Otherwise, when you tell someone, you may end up spilling out all of your emotions instead.  It’s best to wait at least a few days after the decision so that you can mellow out and talk rationally.

2.    Be Calm and Clear

Divorces are emotional, but you should do your best to stay calm when telling someone the news. It can be uncomfortable for both of you if you end up talking emotionally for a long time without getting to the point. Plan what you are going to say beforehand. It can be helpful to practice saying the words aloud to yourself before you try them on other people. Plus, saying the words out loud for the first time can be another shock to you, and you should try to minimise this.

3.    Avoid Social Media

It can be tempting to make a sweeping statement through a Facebook post to let everyone in your life know without too much hassle, but it is difficult to control who will see this post, and it can hurt your friends and family if you don’t talk to them personally. Your partner also might not want the news on social media, and this can cause more tension between you if you are trying to be civil. Make sure you break the news in person and take the time to talk through it with your friends and family. While social media is quick and convenient, it can be incredibly impersonal.

4.    You Don’t Have to Tell Everyone

You only have to tell the people that you are comfortable with knowing, especially in the beginning. You may feel a responsibility to tell everyone in your life, but this is a private issue that you are allowed to keep private if you want to.