There’s no question that relationships are difficult – once the honeymoon phase is over and you and your other half’s lives get busy, it can be difficult to make time.
You may find that you’re arguing more, going on fewer date nights, and generally not working as hard to impress one another. When you’ve been together for years, it can be difficult to keep feeling the same as you did when you both first met.
You still love each other, you just need a little helping hand to reignite that spark – and that’s where we come in.
Here, we discuss the five love languages and tips on not only how to make your girlfriend blush, but how to treat her properly year-round based on her individual personality.
Start by figure out each other’s love language
If you’re struggling to keep the love flowing in your relationship, it may be simply because you both speak different love languages. Consider taking a love language quiz like the one from 5 Love Languages to learn a little more about each other.
It’s all about diving a little deeper into how you give and receive love, as the way you may like to be loved could be (and more than likely will be) entirely different from your girlfriend.
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There’s nothing wrong with that, it just means that instead of treating your girlfriend how you would like to be treated, treat them how they would like to be treated.
It sounds simple, but many get this wrong.
Is your girlfriend’s love language words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch? Below, we’ve listed great ideas to suit each of these.
Quality time
The majority of relationships start to struggle when the couple stops making as much time for each other. We get it- you’re busy, you’ve just got a new job, you’re in a long-distance relationship, you need time for yourself. We’ve heard it all.
However, there’s always a way to spend quality time with your girlfriend. Consider introducing a weekly date night; go out to a restaurant serving steak in London, or a trendy cocktail bar elsewhere. Alternatively, staying overnight at hers a couple more times a week, or even just calling her on your way home from work can make all the difference.
The love language of quality time is all about giving your other half your undivided attention. Make sure to dedicate more time to your girlfriend without distractions, and yes, that means no phones, computers, or television.
Little actions will go a long way to making your girlfriend feel loved and appreciated, and will definitely put you right back into the lovey-dovey stage. Keeping things fresh can help with this too – when you started dating, everything was new and exciting, so it’s important to explore new things together to feel that excitement again. Whether that means exploring new ways to have fun in the bedroom (try searching for Poppers UK if she’s open to some trying something a bit more niche) or simply visiting a new city together to see the sights, there are so many things you can do that will boost the quality of the time you spend together.
Words of affirmation
The female mind is a strange place – while you might think your relationship is doing fine, not telling her that can lead to complications.
Using words of affirmation is all about building your partner up – this means you should be complimenting her outfit, hair, or even saying I love you more than you typically do now.
We all need words of affirmation every now and again. Reminding your girlfriend that you love her, care for her, and respect her might be just what she needs, and taking your time just to say a few words can really go a long way.
You’ll feel less tension within the relationship and will both feel much happier just from putting your feelings into words.
Try sending an unexpected compliment her way on a daily basis, writing her a card with a long message, or sending her flowers with a cute note when she’s had a bad day.
Receiving gifts
Although this isn’t the most inexpensive way to make your girlfriend blush, every girl loves a gift every now and again. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion to send a gift, either- a lot of the time, you should send an adorable little present just because.
Ideally, you should be avoiding the flowers and perfume and be going for something a little more thoughtful.
A Twinkle in Time Custom Star Map, for example, is a great way to celebrate your relationship. It’s pretty effortless, too – the smart website simply asks you to enter a date (your anniversary, maybe) and a location. From there, the software will create a framed poster showing exactly how the stars were aligned at that moment in time. Romantic, right?
Something like a Polaroid Snap Instant Digital Camera is a great idea, too. Giving your girlfriend the gift of capturing instant memories is super cute and will keep you in the good books! Pair it with a scrapbook to stick all of the photos into and you’re onto a winner. CTC Magazine also called this gift one of the best birthday gift ideas for women here.
Acts of service
If your girlfriend believes in the motto ‘actions speak louder than words’, then it’s time to start putting your feelings into movement.
Those who speak this love language will really appreciate you doing things for them that you know they like. This might be cooking dinner, watering the plants, or even making the bed to show her you care and want to help her out.
Going out of your way to make her life easier is one of the best things you can do if your loved one speaks this love language.
Make sure to fulfill all acts with a smile and positivity – as performing them with a negative outlook can do more harm than good.
Physical touch
Some people find that nothing is more affirming than the physical touch of their partner. If this is your girlfriend, then make sure to keep her feeling comforted and safe through the little things, such as holding hands.
The misconception of this love language is that it’s all about sex. It isn’t at all – it’s more about using touch to let your girlfriend know she is loved.
Try forehead kisses, brushing her hair out of her eyes and hugging – you know, all the things we cringe when we see it in public. It may seem silly, but it can be the difference between feeling loved and unloved for someone whose love language is physical touch.