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North East Connected

Hopping Across The North East From Hub To Hub

Pub Jokes To Get in That Weekend Mood

ByDave Stopher

Sep 26, 2024

Here are a few funny jokes about UK pubs:

  1. Why did the pub go broke? Because it couldn’t find any Ale-ternatives.
  2. I went to a pub quiz last night. Turns out, knowing all the answers doesn’t matter if you keep shouting them out during the wrong round.
  3. I told the bartender my pint was half empty. He said, “No, mate, it’s half full. That’s £6.50, please.”
  4. Why don’t ghosts go to pubs? Because they can’t handle their boos!
  5. I walked into a pub and asked for a pint of less. The bartender looked confused and said, “Less what?” I said, “Exactly.”
  6. How do you know you’re in a posh pub? The fish and chips come with a degree in sustainable fisheries management.
  7. Went to a pub and asked the barman, “What’s today’s special?” He replied, “Loyal customers!”
  8. I tried to pay for my pint with a sandwich. The bartender said, “Sorry mate, we don’t accept subs-titutes.”
  9. Why do pubs always have bad wifi? Because they don’t want you to have better connections than the one you’re drinking.
  10. I asked the pub landlord if they ever get tired of working. He said, “Nah, I find it ale-leviating.”

Cheers!