Thinking about divorce, either ahead of a marriage (unlikely) or during an unhappy one (more likely) is a fact of life for many halves of a couple. With the Office for National Statistics confirming in 2012 that over 40 percent of couples divorce (usually the older you marry, the happier you are together), it’s a sobering thought.
Let’s look at a few of the common things found out about divorce.
Couples Still Tend to Stay Together for the Sake of the Children
Seeking out the services of qualified divorce solicitors is usually the last thing that parents want to do. While it’s no guarantee that married parents will stick out the marriage when they have one or more children, it tends to happen that way more often than not. The children act as a kind of glue with parents sticking together because of their shared responsibility to provide their kids with a quality upbringing. On the flip side, when the kids have flown the nest, unfulfilled couples tend to finally acknowledge how unhappy they are together and seek a divorce.
Beliefs, Intimacy, and Money
What do your beliefs, money, and intimacy have in common? They remain the three most common reasons for a divorce. In the case of intimacy, a lack of it or adultery (usually going hand in hand) leads to a breakdown of trust and connection. When religious beliefs are initially overlooked but later found to be a major point of contention or distrust, then this can be catastrophic. With money, often one party is a spender and the other are a saver, which rarely ends well; they usually end up broke and always arguing.
How Long Do Couples Stay Together When They Don’t Have Kids?
Without the glue that kids provide, an unhappy marriage often moves towards divorce in the third or fourth year of marriage. The time range is not that surprising because women often wish to have children around this time and don’t want to wait too long otherwise they believe that they’ll be too old to have children safely.
Divorces Range in Cost Dramatically
Hurt partners often make the mistake of taking issue with every possession and aspect of their relationship. The divorce can bear the brunt of their injured feelings when they go to battle over seemingly minor issues. The cost to contest or litigate over minor issues quickly becomes more expensive. For couples who know they don’t make a good partnership but who can reach an agreement amicably, which is more easily done when children aren’t involved, the cost of divorce is better managed.
While a divorce can take anywhere from six months to a year and a half, it’s usually a good idea to give careful thought over a period of time as to whether you wish to start down the path of getting a divorce. Once begun, it’s not possible to roll the relationship back; the other party can feel abandoned or targeted. Therefore, it’s a good idea to consider marriage therapy first to see if there’s a relationship to salvage before moving for a divorce.