Your company has just let you know that it’s going to be conducting drug tests in the upcoming weeks and you know you’ll fail it if you take it. It’s a story as old as time. Dozens of situations are probably racing through your mind as you think about the upcoming drug test. You shouldn’t have smoked that joint last weekend. That line of coke at your old high school buddy’s birthday party wasn’t really necessary.
The truth is, drug testing is somewhat of an archaic, cruel practice, that doesn’t really reflect the employees’ levels of commitments and productiveness at the firm. With the ongoing “green wave” of marijuana legalization legislation that is sweeping through the country, more people are smoking weed than ever before. The sheer fact that employers in the United States still subject their workers to tests that look for THC metabolites in your urine or blood is outrageous.
But it is what it is. Screening employees for drug use is a commonplace practice at many American companies, and it looks like it is going to stay that way for the foreseeable future. While there are plenty of effective, short-notice methods to pass these tests, such as buying a urine sample from Buy Fake Urine or using various substances to flush the toxins out of your body, the only surefire way to pass a drug test is abstinence.
Yeah, right. Keep on reading this article to learn about more feasible ways to pass a drug test without a hiccup and using natural means.
Hydrate Like Your Job Depends On It
Because it does. Drinking plenty of water in the days leading up to your drug test can significantly reduce the chances of any illicit substance’s residue turning up on the result sheet. It is a true and well-established cliche that the universe works in mysterious ways, but that is just not the case when it comes to the correlation between drinking plenty of water and passing drug tests. It’s quite straightforward– if you urinate more often than usual before a urine drug test, you’re going to flush out all the THC and other chemicals out of your body much faster.
Of course, this doesn’t exactly apply when it comes to blood testing, but they’re quite uncommon in the office environment. Suppose you think you’re running the risk of getting blood tested at work, and your cannabis or other drug use is not part of your daily routine. In that case, you likely have nothing to worry about, as THC doesn’t usually stay in the blood of casual users for longer than 1-2 days.
If you had smoked a joint within the 24 hours before your drug test, and are looking for an easy way to pass, your chances of passing are much lower, but if it’s a urine test, you might still have a chance to pass if you drink huge amounts of water before the test. Just don’t chug a gallon right before peeing in the cup, not to raise suspicions or dilute your urine, which can warrant a retest.
Go to the Bathroom Often
As you have already read in the section above, it is crucial to drink plenty of water and often urinate to flush marijuana and other illicit substances out of your system in time before your test. Aside from pure H2O, you should also look into some of the more widely available diuretics. Also known as water pills, they are pharmaceuticals that can accelerate urination and make you go to the bathroom more often than you usually would. They are used to help your body get rid of excess salt and water, as well as THC and all of the other “fun compounds” that drug tests are on the lookout for.
If you want to use a natural diuretic that was not made in a lab, your best bets would be cranberry juice and caffeine. When it comes to the latter, you can take it in any form – coffee, coke (coca-cola, just in case you got confused there) and caffeine pills are all fair game.
Hydration combined with naturally occurring diuretics should be enough to get you over the line if you’re a casual, once-in-a-blue-moon pot smoker. If you’re a daily toker and have smoked on a daily basis for a long while now, marijuana can stay in your urine for up to 90 days, which makes your situation much more complicated and could force you to look for alternative methods of tackling this problem.
“I Got a Prescription!”
If marijuana is your drug of choice and you don’t want to get in trouble for using it, you might want to consider finding a way that makes your drug habit a very legal, even encouraged activity. That way, you’ll have an excuse for THC popping up on your drug test.
Most American states have legislation that allows medical marijuana use for pretty much everybody who has the appropriate license. Getting it doesn’t take nearly as long as you’d expect, and states like California let you get a medical weed card online, in 15 minutes! Of course, you’ll have to come up with a valid reason to use, so you’re going to need to get creative. It can be something as benign as insomnia or anxiety, so you shouldn’t really have a problem justifying your need for a card.
Once you have it, you can notify your management about the fact that you have a medical permit to smoke weed, and that it can show up on your drug test. You can’t really get fired for it, as that would be a discriminatory act on the side of your boss. It’s recommended that you sort out the card before the test is even announced, so it isn’t really the most short-notice way of going about it, but if you’ve got the time, you can sort out your drug testing problem once and for all.
Final Thoughts
If everything else fails, you can also resort to buying fake urine in order to pass your drug test without any uncomfortable and inconvenient changes to your current lifestyle. Sure, it’s risky, but so is doing drugs when you work at a place that conducts urine testing! You can easily order fake, clean pee over the internet and use it in the bathroom stall at work.
You should also keep in mind the fact that the methods described above are usually effective for marijuana users who want to get THC out of their system quickly and naturally. If you’ve done harder drugs before the test, the issue may be more complicated than that, and therefore your safest bet would just be passing it with fake urine. It is unethical, so do be a law abiding citizen.