With the rules that govern modern society relaxing faster than ever before, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the stereotypically conservative Brit was a thing of the past.
But, according to a new survey,1 they’re still very much in the present. The study, carried out by sexual wellness experts Sinful, revealed that a shocking 40% of us rarely or NEVER talk about sex, desires or fantasies with our partners. And, when asked why, over half put their lack of sex chat down to it being “too awkward”.
The survey also found that four in 10 (40%) people are not satisfied with their sex life, and 61% of people don’t have sex as much as they’d like.
| Why do you find it difficult to talk to your partner about sex, fantasies, and desires? You can choose several answers | Men | Women |
| I find it awkward | 41% | 68% |
| Because we never talk about sex | 42% | 29% |
| I am nervous about how my partner will react | 36% | 34% |
| My partner finds it awkward | 45% | 23% |
| Because it is difficult to find the right occasion | 23% | 17% |
| I am nervous about how I will react | 7% | 17% |
| Because we have bad experiences talking about sex | 4% | 5% |
Despite this, the study also revealed that communication might actually be the biggest secret to a better sex life. In fact, more than nine out of 10 Brits believe that discussing the topic with your partner is key to a good sex life.
Meanwhile, 84% of Brits who think they are good at talking about sex in their relationship, are satisfied with their sex life – compared to just 35% who don’t talk as openly.
Mathilde Mackowski, founder of Sinful, states:
“The conversation about intimacy and sex is hugely important. When we are curious about each other, the desire to play grows – and with play comes a passion for life. Both as individuals and as couples.”
Why can’t we talk about sex?
The numbers from the Sinful survey speak for themselves – our shyness when it comes to talking about sex could be stopping our fun in the bedroom. So, it’s clear that we must learn to bring up the subject of sex more often and talk about it more openly with our partners – even if we want to die of awkwardness.
But Danish psychologist and specialist couples’ therapist, Frej Prahl, isn’t surprised that we Brits are too embarrassed to broach the topic, explaining that:
“Many people find it awkward and unusual to talk about. After all, it’s not just about washing the dishes – it’s something more significant and vulnerable. Many people also lack a language to talk about it, and then you become afraid of saying something wrong and something shameful.”
Prahl explains why it’s so important to banish the fear and pluck up the courage to start the conversation:
“It is not easy to open up conversations about sex, but if you do, the subject becomes less dangerous. You make your thoughts available to your partner and from there you can then work on a solution and accommodate each other.
“The more you don’t talk about the elephant in the room, the bigger it gets. You can end up creating a greater distance between each other, create gaps and eventually give up on intimacy in the relationship – or live with it as it is.”
Let’s talk about sex
To help Brits find their voices and take their sex lives to new heights, Sinful, Europe’s leading sex toy company, is now presenting the ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’ campaign. In addition, Sinful will be launching their new international study, ‘Sindex by Sinful’ – something that Mathilde Mackowski has been looking forward to with great anticipation:
“We want to show the British that they are not alone with their unspoken thoughts, habits and challenges, and we hope that the study can inspire both light and heavy conversations – in society and at home in the living room,” she says.
For more information about Sindex by Sinful, please visit: https://www.sindexbysinful.com/en/uk